Thursday, August 22, 2013

Top Five guilty dis-pleasures

We all know what guilty pleasures are.  Those things you like that you hate admitting because you know people will laugh or tell you how terrible that is.  I have many of these, here are a few examples:

Brittany Spears, Flavor of love, The OC are just a few examples. You feel guilty because you know that people consider these things for a specific group that you should not be a part of. Also because most people that think they have good taste hate these things. 

I would say even the fact I like cartoons or Disneyland somewhat fits into that category.  I almost hate sharing these facts about me because I know the person is going to say "isn't that for kids?" which even after the 3000th time is still annoying

Guilty dis-pleasures (I came up with this phrase, as far as I know I have never heard anyone use it) is the exact opposite.  Meaning, you don't want to have to mention that you dislike something because most people like it.

Because most of the population likes something you are now going to have to have an awkward conversation explaining why you don't. In some cases the people you tell will berate you and tell you how stupid you are for not liking it. An example might be:

You don't like The Beatles, most people do.  Someone talks about how amazing they are at a party you mention you don't like them.  The entire party stops and everyone weighs in as to why you are weird and have no musical taste. It’s not that you hate discussing this it's just definitely not your favorite conversation to have.

In compiling this I got to really realize how unpopular my opinions really are.  It was near impossible to find pictures and in most cases I had to get creative. Here are my top five Guilty Dis-pleasures:

5) College Football and Professional Soccer (Tie)

This is what I do when I watch either of these sports.
College Football
Living in the Northwest my entire life, in a combination of both Oregon and Washington I can tell you first hand people love college football in this area.  I would say even more so on the Oregon side because they have no professional team. Because of this they cling to a beloved college team.  Honestly, I just can't watch it.  I feel like I am watching high school students try to perform a complicated monologue written by Shakespeare.  The concept is there but the execution is just not as entertaining to watch as a professional.  Most of the world however, (at least the one that surrounds me) does not feel this way.  I always hear the "College players just have more heart" argument.  This to me is B.S. The politics and the "Heart" that go into college ball are just because those players want to go pro or they want to live up to the colleges expectation who is probably paying them under the table or compensating someone in some way.  The sport has too much corruption and the bowl game system does not make sense.  It appears to entirely be about money and doesn't even try to hide it.  My biggest complaint is that these are kids that are supposed to be learning and I feel like they leave the corrupt college system and then become a corrupt pro which destroys the game altogether.  We have seen this many times and usually hear about one of these controversies at least once a month.  I think there needs to be some cleaning up of the college game before I could ever be a fan.

Professional Soccer
My response here is simple; I just can't get into it.  When you are playing it's a fun game but as a spectator I just don't find it entertaining.  I have never been to a game live yet but this is mostly out of cost.  It has become so popular here in Portland that tickets are too expensive for me too experiment and see if I like it.  When you tell people you don't like soccer in the North West it's like you are telling them that the god they believe in does not exist.

4) Lord of the Rings
I don't like wizards, warlocks and dragons.  The mythical medieval time is just not a place I want to spend anytime. I just don't understand the fascination. I get liking medieval times but once the mythical magic stuff comes in I am heading for the exits. Something about it is burrowed into my DNA that when I see something containing these things that I tend to cringe and cannot take it seriously.  Maybe it is some deep burrowed thing planted there in high school when I watched people play Magic the gathering. I didn’t understand why they were wasting their time on this game when there were plenty of girls to talk to. There are of course exceptions to the rule (Harry Potter) but for the most part it is really hard to sell me on this genre.  I can respect it and understand what it has done for literature and cinema but I personally don't enjoy it.

3) Monty Python

I have watched every movie I can imagine that they have done.  It is just not funny to me.  I have heard people perform segments from the movies without accents and with different timing and then I find it funny.  But for whatever reason the movies just feel off to me.  Like the punch lines being delivered are off just a split second that make the joke lost.  This is one of the many items on this list that I dread mentioning.  Because usually after saying it I have to hear countless hours of people quoting it in terrible accents trying to convince me how funny it is.

2) Princess Bride
I think I have met two people in my entire life who agree with me on this.  But this movie is terrible.  I know let the death threats begin, right.  But seriously I don't get why people love this movie.  My theory is I did not get to see it until I was an adult so some of the wide eyed magic is just lost on me.  The entire movie just seems like a made for TV movie starring Fred Savage and Andre the Giant.  It just seems like it couldn't decide what type of movie it wanted to be, is it a spoof or a comic love story or a cheesy family flick. Being a theatre major I have been pretty much laughed at when discussing my feelings about this movie. Once I was even asked to leave an audition when I mentioned my distaste for this film.

1) Bob Dylan

Man where to begin...oh wait his TERRIBLE VOICE! This guy cannot sing! He sounds stoned and sing songy in everything he does. I will give him the fact he writes beautiful poetry and lyrics, but this guy should not be singing them.  I remember first hearing a Bob Dylan song (I want to say it was on a movie soundtrack in middle school) I thought it was a joke. I thought it was a parody of a 60's or 70’s song.  It is just really hard for me to take anything that guy does seriously.

Honorable mentions:

The Cure

They are always mentioned in the category of punk.  Which utterly confuses me.  I guess the way they dressed, but there music is more goth and emo then anything else.  I don't really like Robert Smith's voice and every song is depressing and boring to me.

Depeche Mode
I have a lot of friends who enjoy this band but much like The Cure it just seemed ultra depressing and the music just never clicked with me.  I couldn't connect to it.  Even at the time when they were releasing music I felt like it was already dated. The other day I had a great moment where I heard a song on the radio and it was horrid.  I began making fun of it and the realized it was a Depeche Mode song and it made sense why it sounded terrible to me. 

1980's Butt rock-Bands like Poison, White Snake, Skid Row, Motley Crue, Etc.
People from my generation either love this type of music or hate it. I am in the hate camp.  I just never understood acting overtly masculine and misogynist while wearing women’s clothes and makeup. I would much rather be listening to hip-hop that was produced at the same time.  It could be my distaste for High pitched voices and screaming in music.  However, every once in a while there is a gem of a song that I hear that I enjoy.  They are rare though and far between.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Top Five Comic Based Super heroes

This is a pretty obvious one for me, I probably should have done this a while ago.  I want to point out that these are heroes originally based on comic book characters. So this means no Incredibles, Gizmo Duck or Super Grover.  Down below I broke down each hero into three sections:

1) Who he is - This is for those who don't know super heroes that well.
2)You might know him from - I included this to showcase what I believe the character's most popular things are outside of the comics.
3) Why I like him- My opinions as to why these heroes are on this list.

I stayed away from listing the comics the heroes are based on in the You might know him from section.  If you know comics thats what you know him from. If not its probably one of the things I talk about.  My top three are pretty set in stone in my mind and have been for a while. My last two I went back and fourth on but I ended pretty confidently. I also want to point out that am not a true afficiando on any of these heroes (except for maybe a degree in Spider-man with a minor in Batman) so I am sure I could be saying something that you think is off base.  Sorry, you might be reading the wrong blog if you are looking for perfection on this subject matter.

With that said let's get to the main course:

5) Flash

Who he is:
Flash has had various people take on the mantle: Jay Garrick, Barry Allen, Wally West and Bart Allen. However I would say most people consider Barry Allen to be the incarnation most people like and are familiar with.  All four incarnations of the Flash have had the ability of "super speed"

You might know him from:
The Flash TV show in the 90's.  He has also been in "The Justice league" animated Series and his character has appeared in smallville.  Probably his most recent claim to fame outside of comics is Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory dressing up like him in an episode and running around his apartment.

Why I like him:
To be honest I am not sure anymore.  The more I have read about him the less I am interested in his character.  I have found the comic somewhat boring along with his other incarnations. The TV show really seemed like it was trying to be a little like the Batman movie that was out at the time.  The Justice League cartoon character seemed to take on what Plastic Man's persona is in the comics. This was show cased mostly on how he interacted with people which wasn't true to the character in a lot of ways. I think the biggest thing that attracts me to him is simply his super power.  If I had to choose, super speed would be it. The power of speed could take on several powers as long as it was harnassed correctly.  I also like the flash symbol (I know it's materalistic but deal with it).  Quite honestly I am not a DC comic guy.  Batman is the only one I truly enjoy the rest seem to be to flawless and have to generate flaws to stay interesting.  I have a feeling in a few years Flash might be moved out of the top five if they don't do something with him soon.

4) Iron Man

Who he is:
Tony Stark, genius, billionaire playboy, philanthropist. Tony suffered a chest injury and built a suit to help keep him alive and escape from his captors. He has no superpowers but is considered to be a genius. He graduated from MIT when he was 17.  He is considered to be one of the most (if not the most) intelligent person in the Marvel Universe.

You might know him from:
Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Iron man 3, The Avengers.

Why I like him:
I cannot tell a lie, this is all because of the movies.  I did not know Iron man that well and quite frankly I did not think it would do that well at the box office.  The character was relatively unknown  unless you were a comic guy. Another possibility of knowing him was you could of been one of the ten people that recognized his character from one of his many cartoon cameos. He seemed boring and the villians seemed weak in any comic or cartoon I saw. The movies however have proved me wrong.  Robert Downey Jr. brought something special and engaing to the role and makes me want to watch the character. He is funny, smart and knows his way around a spectacular fight. The character went from relative mainstream unknown to one of the first heroes kids talk about.  This has to be credited to Robert Downey Jr and the characters appearances in the marvel cinematic universe.

3) Daredevil
Daredevil is even better in bear form.
Who he is:
Matt Murdock, he was blinded by a radioactive substance that fell from an oncoming vehicle. This heightens his senses beyond normal human ability. He is a master of several martial arts and he is skilled and respected attorney.

You might know him from:
The movie Daredevil staring Ben Affleck.  If you ever watched the 90' Spider-man animated series he also made quite a few cameos throughout the run of that show.  Some people who normally don't read comics also got into him because film maker Kevin Smith wrote a few of his issues.

Why I like him:
I first noticed him in a cameo on a Spider-man cartoon and thought he seemed fascinating.  I then read a few of the comics and then a few years later I saw the movie.  Unlike most people I liked the movie, it actually made me want to read more about him.  The movie wasn't the greatest, but I liked the character enough and thought enough elements of the charatcer were there to make the movie a decent watch. I enjoy the concept of a blind attorney fighting crime. Not only does he put on a suit and fight crime but he also does it when the mask comes off.  There are not too many characters I can think of who are still fighting crime as their occupation when they are not in costume.

2) Batman
Who he is:
Bruce Wayne. (However other people at times have taken over the mantle) After witnessing the murder of his parents as a small child he swears revenge on criminals and gives them his own brand of justice.  He does not posses any super powers. He is immensely wealthy and has a very high intellect. This allows him to have great detective skills and a high knowledge of science and technology.

You might know him from: Countless TV shows, cartoons, movies and probably your childhood in some fashion.

Why I like him:
Batman is a man in a costume. A man who fights for what he believes is right.  He fights everyday so he might prevent anyone ever having to go through a similar pain he did when he lost his parents. He is someone who sacrifices his fortune, his mind and his body to better humankind and specifically his city of Gotham. The main thing I like about Batman is unlike other heroes who I can relate personally with, Batman is not like that. He is the man I wish I was.  The intelligent detective who is a martial arts master and who is always one step ahead of everyone else. Who doesn't want that?

1) Spider-Man


Who he is:
Peter Parker (Depending on the universe there have been others, but he is the main one) Science genius high schooler (sometimes college) student gets bit by a radioactive spider.  He then struggles with his love life, super villians and his Aunt May.  I also forgot to mention he is very quick witted and funny.  He has a one liner for just about every interaction with a villian.

You might know him from:
Well if you know me: my house, my ranting and my wardrobe. If not, the three movies directed by Sam Rami; Spiderman 1-3 (2002-2007), The Amazing Spider-man (2012), and a variety of animated shows. The Ultimate Spider-man being the most recent one that currenlty plays on disney XD.

Why I like him:
I have already written an entire blog on my love affair with him a year or so back at my other Blogger page:

Spider-man: Your friendly neighborhood Tom

But to give a quick summary, he is the most relatable hero to me.  Growing up I watched how he struggled in relationships and how he always wanted to do the right thing.  He often didn't make the best choices, but always had good intentions. He seemed different then the other mainstream heroes.  He was quick witted and humorous.  He dated different girls and had normal everyday problems in not normal extraordinary situations. If I was on a dessert Island and had to pick one fictional character to hang out with, it would be the web-head.


Friday, June 7, 2013

Top Five Documentaries!

I hear a lot of people complain about not finding anything to watch on Netflix.  To me that is like saying there is nothing to do in New York City. Those people are not doing it right. The Netflix of today has so many TV shows and movies to watch, I usually have to stop adding movies when I hit a certain number of titles before I add more.

This was not the case when I first got Netflix. When I began streaming movies about five years back, I did nothing but watch documentaries. At that time it was really all you would want to sit through. I am thankful for that time because it allowed me to learn what I liked and what I didn't in terms of documentaries. It also made me watch movies I normally would not have. This made me have a great respect for this type of cinema and allowed me to seek out documentaries that I normally would not have. So out of the many I have watched, here are some of the ones that stuck with me as my favorites.

5) When You're Strange
When You're Strange.jpg
I love the Doors. I love Johnny Depp. These are two great tastes that taste great together. This movie beautifully tells the rise and fall of the band and Depp does a great job telling the story. This movie basically eliminates ever needing to watch the Oliver Stone film starring Val Kilmer. It's just as entertaining but is more realistic and does not stretch the truth for entertainment purposes as the previous film did...and I ought to know. Up until 2000 I had read every book published about The Doors. This film sticks to accuracy while still keeping your attention. A great Rock doc.

4) Spellbound
Spellboundposter.jpg

For a few years I worked at a video store. The cool thing about working at a video store is you get to watch movies before they get released. The week this came out there was nothing else being released so I gave it a shot. This is such a stressful movie! It revolves around eight kids and a spelling bee. I never would have thought this type of competition would be as compelling, thrilling and funny as it was. The eight kids involved are a very interesting study into the minds of these young intelligent kids.

3) Hands on a Hard Body
HandsonaHardBodyMoviePoster.jpg

This is the first documentary in my life I remember choosing to watch. I was a sophomore in college and I was dating a junior. I remember being a tad nervous because we went over to hang out with a group of her friends that I did not know too well and it was in a tiny one bedroom apartment. The plan was to have some drinks and watch a movie. I heard we were going to watch a documentary and I was not looking forward to it. My impression of those kind of movies is what they made us watch in social studies in high school. Man was I wrong! This movie blew my mind. It is about a yearly competition that puts twenty-four contestants against each other to see who can keep their hand on a pickup truck for the longest amount of time. These people were ridiculous! Mind you, this movie was long before the main stream reality television shows. I could see someone watching this now and not understanding its humor because there are so many incarnations of this that exist on television and are not as dated. I have also heard it is talks to become a Broadway musical and also there were a few rumors of an acted film adaptation a few years back.  It's funny, intense and very, very weird. This movie is currently out of print and is not the easiest to locate. So unfortunately I have not seen it in its entirety since the original evening I watched it. But man I want to.

2) Waking Sleeping Beauty
Waking Sleeping Beauty.jpg

I am a man who grew up on Disney cartoons. The movies, the television shows and everything in between. Waking Sleeping Beauty documents the history of Disney from 1981 to1994. Highlighting a successful period of time known as the Disney renaissance. The film specifically covers the rise and fall of the animation division that brought us movies like The little Mermaid and The Lion King. This film is what is commonly referred to as a "warts and all" documentary. Meaning they are not censored about things that happened. They don't always paint Disney in the best light either. I like this Movie so much because it uses no new on camera interviews, instead relying primarily on old interviews and personal film/videos shot by the employees of the studio. A brilliant portrait of the company rebuilding the Disney animated film legacy.

1) Dear Zachary: A letter to a son about his father
DearZacharyTheatricalPoster.jpg

This movie breaks your heart, over and over and over again. Just when you think you are safe this movie rips our your heart again and takes a bite and then puts it back in your chest. It is the story of a film maker whose best friend Andrew Bagby was murdered. After his death his friend now wants to investigate it deeper and get to know the people that Andrew associated with before he died. All of this is being documented for Andrew's infant son. I think this film is nearly impossible to watch and not sob. I have a love hate relationship with this movie. The love part comes because I think it is a brilliant film that has many layers and is highly engaging on every level. But the hate part comes from the way I feel when I am done watching the movie. You feel like crap when it is done. Depressed, sad and sickened by the way that one person could treat another. But I can honestly say this movie changed my life upon viewing. I knew at that moment that you have to be careful who you trust in this world and that your family and the people you love will ultimately be there for you when you need them. Watch this movie, but be prepared to be touched...and not like that sicko.

Honorable mentions: There are plenty of movies I wanted to name here but these stuck out as ones I would have included but I ruled them out for one reason or another. I have two that come to mind that are straight documentaries and two that are a television mini documentary series.

America: The Story of US
An amazing mini-series about Americas creation all the way through to current day. Very interesting reenactments and a new creative way to look at our country.

Brando: The Documentary
This aired on TMC in 2009. When they aired it the first time I put it into my DVR and watched it a few times. My love affair with Brando and watching his rise and fall was massively revealing and also very appealing. I loved learning about the actor who defined a generation of many other actors and the path of his interesting career.

The Battle over Citizen Kane 
This was a movie that revealed why Citizen Kane is so important. Many people now just watch the movie but don't understand its true significance. This doc tells the stories behind the feud of William Randolph Hearst and Orson Welles. It also makes you really understand Orson's vision of the movie and why still many years later people regard Citizen Kane as one of the greatest movies of all time.

ESPN 30 for 30 series and ESPN Film Present and ESPN SEC Storied
These are three different tiles for a series of sports documentaries that were originally shown on ESPN but have now been shown on other networks such as ABC.  All of the ones I have seen were on Netflix, and as far as I know most of them still are.  I like some of these so much I probably would have put them in my top five but I tried to keep my list to films released theatrically. There are quite a few of these documentaries and I have listed the ones below that I enjoyed.  I tried to put them in order of my favorites but they are all great. Here you go:

Going Big This is the only one from the ESPN SEC Storied collection.  This is all about Sam Bowie and his rise and fall in college and professional basketball.  A must see for a Portland Trail Blazer fan.
The band that wouldn't die This is about the move of the Baltimore Colts to Indiana and the struggle the city and the team band had throughout the years before the new franchise, the Baltimore Ravens arrived.  Very interesting even for a non sports fan.  The band pushed forward through some tough times.
The announcement This one is all about Magic Johnson's very famous announcement that he was HIV positive.
Straight outta LA All about the Raiders coming to LA and leaving LA.  The cultural impact the Raiders had on Hip-Hop and on entertainment.  It is narrated and hosted by Ice Cube.
Once brothers Probably the most touching and sad one on the list. It's the story of two NBA players (Vlade Divac and Drazen Petrovic) who were both from the same country and became great friends.  Then something tears them apart and they have a giant feud.  It gets worse from there. 
Jordan rides the bus all about Michael Jordan's retirement from basketball and attempted baseball career.  Not the best documentary but if you are a Jordan fan it is entertaining and a quick watch
You don't know Bo I really liked this one.  I didn't know much about Bo Jackson and I thought this documentary was very well put together.
Winning Time: Reggie Miller VS the New York Knicks there was a time when there was a huge rivalry between the Knicks and The Pacers; Reggie Miller.  Spike Lee was part of this feud.  A fun watch.
Catching Hell this was the story of Steve Bartman the fan who messed up the chance the Cubs had at winning the world Series.  If I was a bigger baseball fan this would be higher on the list.  With that said the story is fascinating and examines how much pressure is put on athletes and fans who make one vital mistake. It showcases a few instances of this happening.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Top Five Christmas Movies you probably have not seen

I have rewitten this blog several times, I originally was going to have my favorite Christmas movies and then I was thinking of doing my favorite holiday songs...but all of that sounded boring. As much as I love the traditional Chrstmas movies if I see another re-telling of A Christmas Carol or It's a Wonderful Life I am going to choke the holiday cheer out of somebody. So I chose to go a completely different route. This is Christmas movies I am assuming you probably have not seen. I have omitted cartoon specials, this is just straight up theatrical released movies.

5) Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
This movie is terrible. In fact it does not belong on this list.  The only reason I put it on here is because you should at least turn it on for a few minutes just to watch the atrocity that is this movie.  It is often hailed as one of the worst movies of all time...and it truly is.  The acting, the plot, the costumes all are terrible.  You feel like you are watching an elementary kids school play. But it is fascinating to know that somone somewhere thought this movie was a godd idea. Not only did they think that it was a brilliant idea but they also made a toy line as noted at the begining of the film.  There have been talks of remaking this movie for several years which I think could be funny if done right but all and all this is complete trash.

4) Ernest Saves Christmas
This movie is awesome! Its always been one of my favorite Ernest movies, it is slapstick comedy at its finest! Sure its Cheesey and completely implausible, but it is fun, hilarious and meant for family viewing. It borrows some plot points and scenes from some famous Christmas movies like miracle on 34th street but still feels very original. I am also proud to now be one of the only people to put an Ernest movie in a top five list. Ernest was also one of the defining moments of my relationship with my wife. Before we were married I mentioned this movie and she was the first women ever to not sneer at me after I uttered the name Ernest. Instead she said "I would totally watch that! I saw Scared Stupid in the theatre." I knew it was true love.

3) Bad Santa
So you might have seen this one.  I think a lot of people avoid it because of the way it was marketed but you shouldn't. This movie is so different then any other holiday movie. This ain't your mothers holiday movie. It's crass, filled with swearing and a drunk Santa Claus is the main charater. It's solid hilarity and I would say the best comical role Billy Bob Thornton has ever done. I really enjoy this movie and it is a holiday staple in my house.  I like to have a little Dark comedy mixed in my holiday rotation instead of the same old stories being told. This is not a movie for kids though, unless you let your kids watch swearing, and intimate adult interactions.

2) Santa's Slay
This is a great bad movie.  We watched it on a whim last year, and then watched it again this year and it still holds up.  I am somewhat picky about the bad movies I enjoy, all of the stars usually have to be aligned for me to like your typical bad movie and for this one they definitely were. There are a lot of celebrity cameos that pop up and it only adds to the campy nature of the hilarity.  The movies showcases ex-professioanl wrestler Goldberg as Santa.  Hopefully with that sentence alone I have peaked your curiosity.  My favorite part is probably the first ten minutes of the movie. A dinner scene with a variety of B list celebrities who end up dying in humorous ways. There is also a claymation type scene about halfway through the movie which sets up the back story of Santas rage that is highly entertaining. 

1) Christmas Story (2007)
No not that Chrstmas story, this is a different one.  Its a swedish film that was released in 2007. It is basically the origin story of Santa Claus.  It is told very well and the cinematography is incredible. This was a movie I just randomally watched because it was on Netflix.  It kind of blew my expectations out of the water.  In fact I was kind of hungry and the movie was so captivating I could not stop to eat; I had to finish it. It is the best holiday film to watch if you don't want to watch the stereotipical cliched movies. I plan on purchasing this movie and making it part of my holiday repertoire. With that said the english dub over the original language is terrible and the voice acting is slightly over the top. I could see this movie being remade, there are only a few little things that could be tweaked to make this movie a traditional classic.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Top Five best things to eat in the Portland-metro area

I like to eat! Who doesn't? I tried to pick one item that I thought was amazing and in its own way unique, and I made the list below. Portland is known as a "foodie town".  I know it has won a variety of awards from various places for its amazing cuisine.  However, I am not a foodie I am just a regular guy who likes to eat all types of food. Therefore, the list below represents a lot of my favorite types of food and what they mean to me.

With the exception of number 5 and number 3 I make it a point if I have out of town visitors that I take them to all of the spots on this page or at least recommend that they make it a point to stop there.

5) Pepperoni and Olive Pizza at:
Pizza Baron
2604 Southeast 122nd Avenue
Portland, OR 97236

I heard a story from a co-worker a while back that Portland actually had its own unique style of pizza. The story was that it was originated in a Portland based pizza restaurant called Pietro's Pizza. The key difference in the pizza is a thinner crust, but not too thin as many restaurants have. For a long time I could not find their pizza anywhere because all of the Pietro's restaurants closed in the Portland metro area (that I know of) and then I found Pizza Baron. It's identical and delicious. You don't have to get the Pepperoni and Olive get what ever kind of pizza you like. The good thing about it is in the sauce and crust.

4) Black Bean Quesadilla and Bacon Cheddar Fries with a side of Red Chili Sauce at:
Dot's cafe
2521 SE Clinton St
Portland, OR 97202

This is the only thing I have ever ordered here.  The first time I went, I was starving and ordered them both.  The gooey cheesiness of both of these items was amazing.  The problem now is that when I go I still have to order them both because I can't decide between the two.  Let's start with the Fries.  They are a towering plate of delicious bacon, cheese and fries.  I think it is the cheese and bacon that makes them perfect! However they don't become complete perfection until you dip them into the red chili sauce. You have to order it separate it is actually served with something else. It has just enough kick and just enough flavor. Then we have the quesedilla.  This is what made me like black beans.  The gooey cheese complimented with the black beans and sour cream melts in your mouth making you want more. I have even tried to recreate at home and it is simply not as good as when I go here.

3) Egg roll at:
Lee's Garden
18330 SE Division
Gresham, OR 97030

The best Egg roll I think you could eat anywhere on the planet. Really they should call it a burrito it is so large.  The flavors are hard to explain but it has a texture and meat like quality to it that comes together in an amazing flavor. I am pretty confident they put bacon in them and that is what adds the flavor but I am not completely sure. Before having this Egg roll I wasn't a big fan of Egg rolls in general.  I only ate it because it came with the meal I ordered once, and then I fell in love. Now I always order Egg rolls at every Chinese restaurant I eat at hoping for the same amazing egg roll but I am always sorely disappointed.

2) Giuseppe's House Special Pizza at:
Giuseppe's Italian Restaurant
17937 Southeast Stark Street
Portland, OR 97233

I love this restaurant! I have gone here nearly my entire life.  My parents live down the street so this was always a place we would go to. I have had everything on the menu at least once and I can honestly tell you I liked all of it.  My personal favorite though is the house special. It is basically a combo pizza with Pepperonchinis on top.  It sounds simple but it is the quality and flavor of all of the toppings they use.  They all just come together in a glorious blend of meats and cheeses that dance in your mouth.  Since moving away from this location I still will drive an hour or so out of the way to eat here sometimes. It is just that amazing. I have traveled a lot of different places in my life and this is the best most consistent non chain restaurant I have ever eaten at.  If I had to pick a last meal it would be from Giuseppe's.

1) Bacon Maple bar at:
Voodoo Doughnuts
22 Southwest 3rd Avenue 
Portland, OR 97204-2713
(There are actually three locations but this is the only one I have been to)

Evey web site, every tourist attraction book, every local you run into will tell you to go to Voodoo Doughnuts. They are right. Depending on the location you go to there is usually a line around the building but it is worth any kind of wait. I know the Bacon Maple Bar sounds weird but it is to die for.  The rich flavor of the bacon and the gooey sweet maple frosting along with the cake doughnut blend so beautifully it is like they were meant for each other.  Voodoo has tons of other great Doughnuts as well, I just think this one is the most unique and flavorful.  They also keep making it better or so it seems.  Since the last time I ate there I swear they have updated their bacon.  It is thicker and juicier and much more flavorful. This is so popular that Rogue, a local brewery has no made a Bacon Maple Ale.  I have not had it yet but I will eventually. Like I mention previously Voodoo also has other doughnuts as well that are just as intriguing to name a few: The Captain Crunch doughnut, The Butterfingers Doughnut, and my other personal favorite The O.D.B. (Which has Peanut Putter and Oreo crumbling and chocolate sauce.)

Honorable mention:

McMenamins Taster Trays at:

McMenamins Edgefield
2126 S.W. Halsey St.
Troutdale, OR 97060

or

McMenamins Kennedy School
5736 Northeast 33rd Avenue 
Portland, OR 97211

The Beer taster tray McMenamins Edgefield and Kennedy school are always a must when you come to this area.  The Beer is incredible, the food is pretty good (even though it is kind of served in small portions) and the atmosphere of these two places is great because there is so much to see and do when you walk around the buildings.  I like the sampler because you can try several beers for one small price and find what you like. Lot's of the McMenamins restaurants are cool, but these are the two of the best because of the adventurous atmosphere and cure for wanderlust they provide. They also have movie theatres and all different types of concerts.